Far away for Far too long

How long is too long?

A day? A week? A month? six? A year?

500 days.

That's how long our long distance relationship is.

1.5 years.

If you think it's long, it feels longer.

The saddest part is the forgetting. Forgetting of how he smells, or how tall he is when he stands next to me, the warmth of his hand against my shoulder. Forgetting how it feels to hold hands or be enveloped in that hug.

There are other hurdles too - time difference. Oh so confusing!! And of course difficult to find free times that overlap.

The biggest hurdle is not knowing the expression of the other person. Thirteen times out of Forteen, I have no idea what his face is saying in parallel to the words I hear, or the silences I feel. Even in the one time we video call every week, it's oh-so-easy to hide your face casually, away from the small front camera, away from the small phone screen.

We prepared for this a lot though. We made a list of 50 things we'd do together over the year to stay connected. Now I don't even remember what those things were! *Quickly refers excel sheet*
Things so random - Like no watching TV days, send snail mails, cook together, learn to make things on your own and so on.

We didn't do most of them,

We did do a few - we have a shared blog that I love, we video call at least once a week, we made pizza together once, we baked together once. That's it.

We have taken trips on our own, we did learn to make new things, read books and new skills - but not as together activities. Just as things to fill our time.

What works, the only thing that works is communication. I can't stress this enough.

In a long distance relationship, you can't expect your partner to interpret your silences or hug you when you look down. You need to verbalize EVERYTHING. It's a state where some of even what is said trickles through the sieve, unresponded to. And anything that is not said is lost to the other, for no fault of theirs.

He's a talker, it was easier for him. But talking is something I had to learn to do. Sometimes, (read most :P ) he has ten things he's started talking about when I'm still trying to verbalize one. However, we learnt through this distance to listen to each other. To be there for each other from so far away.

That was what made the last 401 days so easy. That's what's making the 99 that's left look like child's play :)