Every organization has many kinds of people. Leaders followers, Managers subordinates, Thinkers believers, and so on. Two of those types are the mean and the stupid.

There is always at least one person who is mean just for the sake of being mean. He likes to find faults, not sign when his signature is needed, ask questions to which answers are obvious, ask for irrelevant or unnecessary information, find absurd reason to hold things up, find fault with things that don’t align with their belief system, impose their belief system on other. They are more often than not loud and aggressive, with an air of presumed importance. Their existence is quite the bane to the existence of most others.

Then there is another type – the stupid. The stupid are of two types – one who act out because they’re scared of the mean, and the other who want to be like the mean. Either ways, the base being that they don’t have their own reason for their actions. It’s easier to fight with or even reason with the mean, as compared to the stupid. The stupid do the things the mean does, with nothing to support their action. Which is sad and pathetic.

The mean are a pain to deal with. But the stupid? They’re ridiculous and impossible, and best avoided.

Addictions

Have you ever been addicted to a person?
That no matter how bad things get with them, you let it go. It doesn't matter (for long) if they insult you or down right ignore you, you still find yourself going back, knocking on their door and asking - "Do you wanna be friends again?", "Are we still friends?" Or "Can we start over maybe?"
Outside of that relationship, you lead a completely normal life, with the sensitivities of a normal person. You feel shame, pain and hurt to the normal levels. You understand insults and react as normally as the next person. But not with that one person. With them, despite repeatedly telling yourself that: "This is it. This is all I'll take. No more." - You're back, pinging them again as the next day begins. Not even bothering to make up an excuse for them. Just pinging cause it feels like you can. You just have. Thats the thing to do.

Sometimes you go days ... months ... or even years without getting back in touch. But eventually you do. You occassionally even go through phases wondering / feeling / knowing that the other person most probably does not feel the same way, and they just want to stay away. Despite all evidence pointing to that, you put that aside and still go back.

Have you seen the movie premonition? (Spoilers this paragraph) It's about a guy who gets short term memory loss after an incident where his wife was also murdered. So he uses all means possibld to track down the murderer. Despite his 10 minute long...short memory, fighting all odd to keep himself on track, to complete the mission. At the end, he finally hunts down the criminal, or what should have been him, only to find that he has already done this before. He's found the guy already. Killed him already. But that's all he can think of. That's all he knows ... So finally he burns the shred of evidence proving that he's done what he held as his purpose. Just to restart. Because thats all that makes sense to him anymore.

So thats how it is now as well. Maybe its not that bad. Nonetheless.

Someday I'll accept it. Someday I will move on. Someday. Apparently not today.

Those little things

Peace
Peace is lying on the back seat of the car
Watching the trees buzz by
Sky so blue
Up so high
Small piece of chocolate put in the mouth
Hair occasionally, absently stroked
Lying on the back seat of the car
Lying on his lap

Doubt
Doubt is something enormous suddenly sinking in
Getting through courtship
Getting through the engagement
Gushing through the wedding
Skipping through the honeymoon
Standing in the grocery store
Wondering what topping he likes
Not knowing how big the thing you have gotten into is
Not knowing if you can handle it

Hope
Hope is believing without reason
That things will get better
That the better job
That other person
All those solutions
Or just any of the above, happen
Without much reason, sometimes with it.

Wish

:)

A wish is .....
A big hope, mixed with doubt, that gives us peace - in just being there
A belief in the hope
A reassurance in the doubt
And a reason to be peaceful :)