The light that once was ...

Memories twirling in my brain... 

Like the smoke after the fire in the candle is blown away,

Memories are the only the things that are here to stay.

Of the light that once was

I caught myself looking at the ash grey sky,

the way it has been for days now,

and wishing things got better.

A cynical laughter crept up my throat ...

One I never let out.

I loved rainy days at home.

All the elements were vibrantly alive...

The water, the earth and the trees

She was more alive than any of those

But not anymore...

As every new rainy day starts, 

I hope it stops... before it pushes me too far

Rain cleans ...

Rain replaces ...

Rain renews.

What if I want somethings to stay

What if I wanted something to stay so bad ...

It rained that night ...

I can never forget

She loved it.

I think I love it ..

No ... I know I love it.

But the rain can bring to life only certain elements

And sometimes, even all that beauty

Can't make up for the longing 

Can't make up for the wish that I wasn't watching this alone

Can't make up for the fact that elements are not always elemental to you

Can't make up for the things that matter most... in a way more than life.

I love the rain

I loved it much more in the past.

It brings out a certain energy in me

It brings out the twirls of memory...

Memories of a light that once was

Memories that are a book which is over

Memories, of the most precious type ...

Because no more new ones can be formed

Because they are all I have left ...

Of the light I'm now lost without

Of the light that once was...

And always will be ...