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On a cusp

Friday, December 21, 2012

It's almost the midnight of 20th December 2012. We're two minutes away from 21.12.12, the day the world was prophesied to end.
I know it's not going to, my brain knows that it is a ridiculous idea. But my heart? It believes. Rather, it wants to believe. There is something so poetic about things like the world coming to an end, that makes me wonder what if. Will I regret anything? I'll regret regretting, so I shan't. It's funny...I'm typing super fast, so that I can hit on the 'Publish' button, just in case something starts to happen. Hehe. Its strangely a fun feeling.
Of course I'd rather it happen after 8 hours. Considering that the 2 people I care for most in this world aren't home right now, and are expected back only in the morning!
I've already packed for my trip tomorrow, but I haven't started studying for my exam a week from now. *Keke*
I guess tomorrow same time, when news reports of nothing majorly catastrophic turns up, and I'm sitting curled up in the bus, the biggest thought on my head would be "Damn, I have an exam coming up!" ;)
Nonetheless, if. IF.
If the world does end today (It's here! 21.12.12) I think I am happy about the life I've lead, and am glad I'll get to join my mum again :)
I didn't think I would have such a simplistic approach to death. And more of a curious interest in the end of the world. Nonetheless, I'm glad I now kind of know that I either lived big enough to be satisfied with it, or small enough to be content with it. A world of difference between the two, but I'm too eccentric to tell the difference for myself.
If we live to see another sunrise, I hope y'all had a time to rethink life a bit and get ready to start living again!
I for one, have...will have... an exam to ace, a book to publish, a relationship to explore, a temper to deal with all over again and a job to find! Phew!

The Happier Soul

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I can normally hold a straight face. Even when someone in the restaurant topples soup all over themselves, I can keep a straight face and politely look away. Not any more apparently! Maybe it's the Christmas season, and I have been shamelessly embarrassing people, strangers no less!

To spread the joy, I going to tell you about a couple of incidents :P (You may choose to treat this as a warning, so as to not provoke me this December, keke ^.^)

The other day I called dominoes to order Pizza. (This was when in started) I had given the guy on the line my address and given directions as well.
The guy on the line was probably a student who was practising his accent or something.
"Having it here, or take away ma'am?" He asked smoothly
For one moment, the answer was both obvious and confusing to me
"Having it here.. at home" I replied, blinking through the phone. His blunder struck me, but I tried to be polite to him. (Like I said, this is when the funny bone started itching this season.)
I was half way through placing my order when I couldn't hold it any more. I burst out laughing, and my apologies come through in between the chuckles. The poor guy obviously knew why I was laughing, and tried to cover it up by adopting a stronger American accent. This just made is so much worse, and did not help his cause one bit!
I did eventually tame my laughter, and requested my usual extra seasoning along with the order. The extent of his embarrassment was evident when I received enough seasoning sachets to fill a pizza box by itself. ;)

Recently, a new bank has opened up in my locality. One of the employees who was sent along to canvas for the bank came-a-knocking on our door today. He had a whole bunch of pamphlets stashed away in a diary. After handing over one pamphlet, he opened the diary to take down the our name and contact number.
There was a big "i" symbol water marked in the middle of each page in the diary.
Even though the back he was representing starts with the letter "i", I knew right away that the diary he was holding was one from a competitor's bank. Probably his previous employer.
I know this because I once worked with that other bank as well!
As soon as I noticed it, "Isn't that from ___bank?" I asked. The words spilt by themselves! Really!
Normal bank canvassing lasts for at least five minutes. They explain the perks of banking with them, give us their contact details and generally try to close the sales right there at the door step. Today though, my sudden question and the laughter that followed saved me five whole minutes. Time I'm using here instead!

Merry Christmas Season  .*.

Awesome Blogger & Liebster Blog Award – I’m tagged

Monday, December 17, 2012

I didn't know such fun things existed, but here we are! All thanks to my Rhapsodic friend who tagged me :)
So this is officially my first blogger award (as well) Yaayy! Thankoo Xana!


So here are the rules:

1.If you are tagged/nominated, you have to post 11 facts about yourself.
2.Then you answer the 11 questions the tagger has given you & make 11 questions for the people you are going to tag.
3. Tag 11 more Bloggers.
4. No tagging back.
5. Person you tag must have < 200 followers

The above bit is copy pasted from my friend's blog. Before we get to the more difficult task of finding 11 more fellow scape bloggers, lets get writing!

11 facts about myself. I'm sure this must be easy. But considering this is an anonymous blog (about me), this might be an interesting one.

  1. I'm a girl in her early twenties
  2. The first time you talk to me, I might come across as a very put together, mature person / or someone who looked totally like an outsider who makes no effor to fit in.
  3. I'm actually not anyof that
  4. I love food, and I am in a long standing battle with my weight
  5. I have a drivers licence but I don't/ am not allowed to drive(This is more difficult than I thought it would be!)
  6. I want to know everything about this man made world
  7. I like watching more than being involved (Anything... a conversation, a fight :P )(Checks out friend's blog to get inspiration!)
  8. I like long rides, drives, the sun rise, the beach, high places, wind, rain, thunder, lightning, lighthouses, big colourful flowers and stationery
  9. I'm scared of all animals. (Except ants - the smaller ones, and I can kill cockroaches) Dogs are my ultimate fear, and they constitute most of my nightmares.
  10. Smiling/ Laughter is my defence mechanism. I smile when I'm in a confrontational situation. I have smiled real sweetly many times when I was cursing someone inside.
  11. I have magical powers. Honest! (I have witnesses!)

So that wraps it up! (But why 11 things anyway? Who came up with it? Why not 12?)
12. I question too many things

Now questions for me to answer - Like a mini interview, cool right?!
1. Blogging to me is_.

A method of finding my way back to sanity. My hideout. My recluse. My space where I am myself the most.

2. I recommend the following 3 blogs for you to read when you are free: _ , _ and _.

feelinit (A teenager's perspective of life), dramabeans (if you're into kdramas) and 1001 awesome things (If you just want to feel good)

3. 5 songs on my play list. (Losing inspiration here)

Just 5? Can we make it 10 pretty please? I don't want a few of my songs to feel left out you see...
  1. Far away - Nickelback
  2. I Remain - Alanis Morissette (Prince of Persia OST)
  3. Sarangigayo - Howl (Goong OST)
  4. Life is like a boat - Rie Fu
  5. Maalai Neram - Andrea Jerenia & G.V.Prakash
  6. No other - SuperJunior
  7. Crush - David Archuletta
  8. At the beginning - Donna Lewis and Richard Marx
  9. Gravity - Maya Sakamoto
  10. That Man/ That woman - Secret Garden OST
4. The last 5 books that I read were___.

Yikes! Does reader's digest count? :(
  1. Psychopathology - A compilation (For my exam - tee hee_
  2. Perhaps Love - Cathy J. Sarto
  3. North and South - Elizabeth Gaskel
  4. Eldest - Christopher Paolini
  5. Insatiable - Erica Rivera
That wasn't all that bad

5. The one movie that made me cry__.

A walk to remember/ Kal Ho Na Ho [The latter was a bit more embarrassing as it was at the theatre :/]

6. Some day, I will _______.

Fly? Find the purpose of life? Ride the waters of Venice on a Gondola? Be the author of more that 15 bestsellers!!! Drive a car? ... be allowed to drive a car! 

Someday, I will know what I really want to do with my life, and who I really want to be.

7. Ten places i want to visit before- whatever.

Another list...hmm.....
  1. Italy - All of it
  2. London  (Go down daddy's memory lane)
  3. Orange county, California
  4. Surandai
  5. The Alps, Germany
  6. Seoul
  7. ALL the palaces of this world
  8. Disney land!!!
  9. Backpacking in the U.S. of A
  10. Finally....The top most tip of the Khalifa
(I thought this list will be the easiest, but is so so wasn't. Gosh I'm losing my touch)

8. The one person who made a HUGE impact on my life would be?

My dad

9. The last time I goofed something up __.

This morning?

10. New year resolutions for 2013?

Get a job, get my book published, get a boyfriend. (Not in any particular order :P )

11. (finally!) One secret that nobody knows :P

I'm an alien vampire. I hail from the distant planet Vampiritus.
[For all my other secrets, read the rest of my blog ;) ]


Phew! 
My turn to tag people now! Muhahahahahahahah


Since I could gather only 10, maybe the cycle can continue with 10? But I shall ask 11 questions as originally intended. Here you go!


  1. Biggest achievement of 2012
  2. Something you want to tell someone (With or without the name of that person)
  3. If you could redo/ correct some past action in your life, which would it be, and how would you change it?
  4. If you could time travel, when and where would you go?
  5. Your favourite word is:
  6. The most beautiful place you have ever been to?
  7. The best food you've eaten (Where, when and how can we get access to it?)
  8. Your pet peeve
  9. Secret crazy hobby
  10. If you could spend one day with ANYONE alive in this world right now, doing anything you like, who would it be?
  11. Love is....?
Those are the questions. Get cracking and get tagging :)
Like she said, you guys rock!
Till later, ciao!
*.* 

Reminiscence

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Its that time of the year again, when I'm forced to look back. On the year, on my life so far. My dad said make awesome memories for Christmas this year; this might be the last Christmas you spend as a single girl in this family. He said that last year, and I think he'll say it again next year :)

Two things bothering me, interestingly, both have korean effect on them. One is to do with age. Every January first, Koreans declare the age they will be that year as their age. So in 16 days, I would be considered as a 25 year old, if I were a Korean. Even otherwise, I have about 5.5 months left to get there. Have you seen the movie 'Never been kissed'? She was 25.
I've never been kissed. One guy gave me a peck on my head, and I punched him. That was four years ago. I don't regret not having been involved with anyone this year. That was a conscious choice. Nevertheless, I do regret not having been in more concrete relationships. I think I not only missed out on an essential growth phase/ developmental milestone, but it'll also affect any future relationship(s).
And hitting 25 without being kissed is rather pitiful. Still, I think I should be discussing this before my birthday, and not now. So case adjourned.

Second one is School life,... college life. Everyone says that the golden years of their lives was their school life and college years. I don't agree. Those were the years we wanted to grow out of the fastest.
Apart from the fact that my mother was around then, I didn't really like school or college life. My school life was, in one word - a mess. I never fit in. And I till date do not like the person I am around my school friends.
My undergrad days could have been better. They probably were... I had a much better hold of myself, and I grew as a person there. But it was a blur. It was textured with painful confused, mostly blocked away memories. To the extent that I don't even remember how I became friends with some of my current best friends. Yet, god bless their souls, they're around!
If I were to write another book, I'd like to write one based on school life though. A bunch of kids, co-ed, simple life problems...and the ultimate aim is to find their dreams for their lives. Small crushes, first love...relationships, and problems then that seem like the world's biggest. But gotten through with one solid set of friends.

If I were to define my golden years, its now. Its 2012, 2011, 2010... the freedom, the family, the friends. I loved these two years. I learnt so much about myself and the people around me in these years. Especially 2012.

2012
My biggest and most important moments/ realizations

I think for the first time, my sister and I connected, in a basic level. It was brief, we went too deep too fast. But now I know we can connect and we're not just sisters because we share blood.
She told me all about her life. And even when I was brutally cruel and judged her, when I had said I wouldn't, she forgave me. For that, I know she has the biggest heart ever. And that night, I will always regret my reactions. But that night, I knew I had a sister who was a passionate believer in God, and someone who knows what it is to get through the roughest storms life throws at you. I now know more about the sister, I once just knew as the girl who didn't cry out loud.

I realized that it wasn't just my mom who always supported my dreams, but my dad as well. He let me quit my job, he watched as I sat doing nothing for months, saying I'm trying to find my purpose in life, he didn't laugh when I said I wanted to write. He didn't make me feel embarrassed about writing a romance story. He read the whole thing, edited it, gave feedback, and is helping me publish it. How awesomely brilliant is that?!
My dad is impatient, he takes four steps instead of one. He jumps the gun... and I found that I get all that from him.

I found out that I am actually a very reliable person in times of emergencies. I have a cool head, and possibly a cold heart in those times. We faced the big cardio scare for my dad, and we got through it well and safe. Touch wood!
That week, I found out a whole lot of things.
-My family is the best support system anyone could ever ask for, hope for or wish for.
-Though I hate hospitals, I feel really safe in them. (Its not ironic, think about it :) )
-I don't cry when I have to be strong for others
-I have a ready made step back and be clinically organized me inside of me, who is very efficient
-I have a lot of good friends
-My fear of needles, pain and hospitals in general is definitely genetic. I am my father and mother's daughter.
-I still do turn to God and my mother when things get rough

There were a few firsts this year

I went on an arranged date for the first time this year. Dad was about 20 feet away. The experience? I'll probably never forget it, so not writing about it. But I was officially a nervous wreck for the three days that preceded this Diwali - when I met him. And found out that my nerves were actually quite reliable during the actual meet. So yaayy.

I stepped out of the country for the first time this year. Thailand was fun. The most fun day(s) were those 1.5 days I spent roaming around alone, exploring the city! The next time I leave this country, I hope its with just one good travel companion who is ready to try out everything. But the shopping was awesome fun!

I finished not one, but 2 books! One, my friend's story - as a gift for her wedding. Another, which is currently in the publisher hunting phase and actually one more collection of short stories which I gave a friend for her birthday.

One of my best friends got married, and I was with her throughout. It was an amazing but emotionally exhausting experience :)

Those were the firsts...
Some other important things of 2012

*My edu loan was paid off - yaayy!!
*Three new nieces! Flower girls :D (All born in the beginning of this year. I'm yet to see one of them, hope to before the end of this year!)
*Our home went through a lot of revamping this year. A LOT!
*I still haven't started driving properly ( :/)
*I found that we dont need a purpose in life, we need a reason instead. (This is probably a big one. But since the realization came in such a simple way, I'm putting it here, with ample happiness in my heart.)
*I made new friends, kept the old ones that mattered, made big mental decisions, and had to let go of one very important friend. (This is a big one, but I don't know where it fits, and neither do I want to write anymore about it)
*My book was more of a closure in many aspects
*I still don't think I am or will be comfortable with touch gadgets. I still have phones and netbooks and haven't shifted to touch phones and ipads. Buttons are good!
*I think I watched the maximum number of korean dramas this year, and have probably become and official addict *gasp*
*A good friend got married, one of the most extravagant gorgeous weddings I've witnessed!
*A really good friend go married, I couldn't make it
*Another friend got married, and I couldn't make it to that either.
*My cousin, younger than me by 2 yrs, is going to get married, and I will be attending! First relative, younger than me who is going to get married - mixed feelings, I'll tell you how it feels when I find out
*Many many many trips - Kolkatta (yum and cheap food!), Cunoor (Again, Lamb's rock is really the best! I want to get married there!!!), Coimbatore (All the cousins and nephews and nieces), Bangalore (More cousins and nephews and nieces!), Mahabalipurum (Drive with a girl is a whole different experience!), Velankanni (Family bonding, and wooww early morning drives)
*I didn't get along very well with my grandmother this year. Not proud of it.
*I actually went to a doctor for my skin!!! Me! And even more surprisingly, I was able to give up sweets and chocolates for almost two months straight! The battle is still on, it is surprisingly easy to not include artificial sugar once you get used to it.
*I briefly tried teaching at college, but I remember the horrendous travel aspect more - and I was asked to quit.
*There was one earthquake I felt this year. Taylor Swift's Safe and Sound is really an apt song for calming people at natural calamities.

2012 was amazing. A lot happened, but more than what is here, more happened in my head. 2012, I know I grew up and matured in just my way of thinking. Maybe not by leaps and bounds, but at least a little :)
There were a lot of things which were so much richer because of how they felt... good and bad. Arguments, hospitals, best friends weddings, closures, meeting someone new, meeting someone old.... it was a damn interesting year!
And it's not even over yet! I have exams, weddings, family vacation and Christmas before it closes.
Wow right? :D

This was fun :)

There's no greater love...

Friday, December 7, 2012



...Than the love of food!

It has been more than 2 weeks! (Almost 3!!!) since a chicken has died for me in this world.
How?! Why?! Waaaaaaaaa
Girl need her chicken!
Fish don't count, no matter how much better they are for the body. I don't even like seafood too much! Waaaaaaa. I won't be getting meat tomorrow also :(

[BTW - if you're expecting me to stop whining, it'll be faster if you stop reading :/]

Back when I was at college, I hated the meat at the mess. It was always undercooked or over cooked. So when I first went there, I almost went three whole months without meat. As a vegetarian!!! Can you believe it? Me! By then, I found friends and places to hang out at so it was better after that.
But back then... I was young, and had more patience. Now... I need meat.
Chicken lollipop.... pepper lamb...mutton biriyani....
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!
I had home made chicken soup yesterday... without chicken :(
How horrible right?

Last week, I looked forward to sunday all week, knowing that there would be some dead animal cooked and waiting for my consumption...but no. Well yes... A fish or two...but they don't count!!! I want chicken :( Even KFC will do :( Even nuggets would do....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!
I want to eat steak.... or chicken pizza....

Sigh..... 

[I did not pasting a picture of a real cooked chicken out of consideration for similar minded people who might have started craving chicken after reading this post!]

That Nice Feeling :)

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Have you heard the song 'Colour Blind'?

Advent
A surprisingly sweet couple goofing off near a river
Simple uncomplicated reassurances
My book shaping up nicely
Hot soup
Cold Soda
Conversations
An old celebrity crush remembered
A good blog post (!)
An upcoming vacation
One more closure silently achieved
Small realizations
Pink bells
December
Love
Day dreams
Midnights

All of these...
Some of these?
Or maybe none of these
Have left me feeling good right now
Quiet contentment
Just the way I like it :)


Tis the season to be Fluey...Tralalallalala laa laa laa !

Yush, I have the flu and from me, so does my sister.
The first day, I spent miserable and silent. Breathing was restricted, and I hardly slept that night. I thought up of possible clever things people could invent to help poor souls in such state. Taking a quick minute to describe that. (Please feel free to invent it, I shall ask for no royalty or copy right, I promise!)

1.5 inch long flexible tube with a slight funnel at one end so it fits smugly along the throat. Made of minty soothing digestible material that get ingested over a period of 6 to 8 hours.

Purpose: Completely stops throat itching and nasal blockage
Aim:     Uninterrupted sleep for more than 3 minutes.

The second day, the cold had gotten much worse and I spent most of it trying to soothe my chest - or googling ways to get the rib cage away from the lungs.
And today, the third day, it still feels the same, but I've gotten used to it. Restricted verbal communication, hot spicy liquids, and a morbid sense of humour have helped me get through today. And here I am, sharing :)

Having the flu has made me notice a few things, I normally wouldn't.

I was watching a drama in which the lead sells cake out in the freezing cold to make money for a present. He ends up catching a cold [so the heroine can feel undue amount of pity for him of course! No one in my family really seem to be worried that I caught a cold...humph. Getting back on track...] The hero gets done with the part time job in the fag end of Christmas eve, rushes to the store, buys the said present, then goes back home exhausted. He drops the bag on the floor, coughs wheezes a couple of times and flops on his bed. His head does not reach a pillow, he's just curved up with his head tilted downward.
Normally, when I see something like this I would be pondering over aspects such as 'When he tried so hard to get it before midnight Christmas eve, why isn't he giving it to her before flopping over?', or 'why couldn't he just call her' or something like that. Today, all I could think of was: With the head in that angle, his nose is bound to get blocked in less than 30 seconds, how come he's not coughing his head away even after being motionless in that position for almost 2 whole minutes! See what I mean? Directorial flaw.

This got me thinking back to another cute kissing scene in a different drama.
The heroine and hero have been playing hide and seek with each other, and since they're really good at it, they last about six years before finally bumping into each other again. So chemistry builds, and when its finally about to hit crescendo she already has a cold. (Not just a sneeze here or there, but a running nose for which she carries medicines).
So, they're sitting in the stairway of the hospital and they're finally confronting the elephant in the...stairway. It was probably a tight squeeze, but lets just work around that. She gives him the final ultimatum, "Tell me if you love me, or I'm going to sprinkle kisses all over your face" (If all ultimatums worked that way, right?) The guy who has finally had enough of running away (Alleluia!) goes in for the grand gesture and plants a big one on her.
When I saw this, I found it adorable. The direction was brilliant, the camera, background score...even the script! Wherein, once he's done, she has this smug smile on her face as she hands over her meds to him and tells him to take it thirty minutes after meals.
Sweet right?
No.
If she really had a cold - and it was her second or third day as per the drama, then that kiss would have totally suffocated her. It would have been a murder attempt! All of us know that our mouth does most of the breathing when we're stuck with a runny nose! And he shuts that! Sigh... how reckless of him right? I shudder to imagine it.

I wrapping up now with a small request to all the film makers out there:
Please take the cold seriously!!!!

P.S: It's ADVENT!!!!
TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY :D
ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE :D
Wishing you a safe and happy holiday season y'all!
 
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