Reasons and Reactions

This post is in effect a disclaimer, to everyone in my life, who know me well enough to know about my blog too.
June 2011 is going to be bad.
I'm glad it started with a rainy day. But I can tell you in advance, the mood whether forecast: Mixed, confused, angry, irritated, lonely, desperate, placid, neutral, clingy, detached. Basically, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have major mood swings. This month is starting with a good bye, said in the suckiest way possible.
Many many weddings, which I will be attending alone.
Another anniversary, and the calls related to it. Planning for that. As a family. A job that's getting me no where in life, and absolutely no life plan. And I have, still have, feeling for someone, or do I? I have confused feelings. Knowing me, its just defense mechanism.
The later half don't really amount to that much.

This June, I'm going to feel left alone, lonely and lost more than in a long time (yes April 2011 too probably) because this June, I'm home, and my numbness apparently had a 3 yr limit, its starting to wear off, and I can feel it.
Don't ask me anymore, it might open a damn, or I might run away.
The reasons for all my activities this just, may be varied, but my reactions, please just bear with them.
And if you are part of my life, and I seem more detached than ever, sit next to me if possible.

But then again, No one (not many) really cares if you're miserable, or if I'm miserable. So :P