Stuck

To those of you who don't understand....

IZZIE: "Like you were moving in slow motion?"
MEREDITH: "He was there and then he wasn’t. Like I blinked and he was gone."
IZZIE: "I feel like... I'm moving in slow motion. Like I’m moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast and I just wanna go back... to when things were normal... when I wasn’t poor Izzie laying on the bathroom floor in her prom dress with her... her dead fiancé. But I am, so I can’t. And I’m.. just stuck. And there’s all this pressure cause everyone’s hovering around me waiting for me to do something or say some thing or flip out or yell or cry some more and I’m happy to play my part. I’m happy to say the lines and do what ever it is that I’m supposed to be doing if it will make everyone feel more comfortable... but I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be this person. I don’t know who this person is."

(Grey's Anatomy; Season 3, episode 1)


Its been years, and you learn to live, laugh and love again.
You will get up from the bathroom floor. You will step back into the fast moving world. 
But some parts of you, a few really essential parts of you get stuck there. Just stuck. And you'll want to keep going back there, because that was the last place you were together. It is in effect the memory of some of your happiest moments, where you go, and it feels like something is caught in your throat. Just wedged there. You can't breathe. But its the place...you know? You want to stay there, because ... just because you were once a complete person there.

I'll hope you never have to fully understand for a long long time ...