Dear Sugie,

Been a while,

How have you been doing?

I think of you,

But can't think of anything to say now

Life's been weird

And I see myself acting weirder

Its funny ..

Everything is changing

Baselines gone

I tried to hold on to what was

Had to let it go

I did put up a fight,

But no use

I tried to hold on to what could be

It seems beyond my reach

I couldn't catch it

I thought I was holding on to what is

But the scars from tugging on something pulling away

Too many things pulling away

Had loosened my grip

And I found that I wasn't holding on to anything

Not even God

Forget hope

I do whatever pleases me at the moment

I'm not completely lost

I am slowly picking up pieces

Broken pieces

That seem big enough 

To amount to something again

I'm sowing seeds for the future

Just throwing them to the wind rather

Letting them go wherever

No energy to bother finding out

To exhausted to focus

Even my dad noticed

How indifferent I've become

To almost everything.

Maybe I just don't care

But I do :)

Funny thing

I'm not sad

Just a bit tired of deeper waters

And trying to wade through

Not knowing how to swim

One day I'll look back to this phase of my life

and think,

Funny, how I cud have been so hope-less

I long for that day.

Just felt like writing

I want to be understood

so someone will explain

So I can understand

Whats going on.