Sometimes ....

I've got to let you go,

I know that now

I think I believe

I can live with just your memories

How true is it ?

We sometimes feel that we've moved on

That those days of tears have gone

Then one day it crashes down

sadness that doesn't go away even after darkness becomes dawn

I thought I was over it

But I knew I never will be

I don't even think I want to be

Now I say

Like I've said so many times before

I mss you

There are so many things I've wished for

I night on your lap

Ask you a thousand questions,

to which I always thought you'd be answering for me

When the time comes...

the time never will

Just hold your hand and walk

Go shopping with you

Chop vegetables when you cook

Go riding with you 

Just talk with you ...

Now here I am,

Lost and alone

with only memories to keep me going

I tell myself,

this is what she would've said,

and do that

We both know I'm just cheating myself.

We both know it'd never be the same

I saw some movie

My frinds were talking

It rained

Somebody missed somebody

I was sitting at lunch

Math

And a hundred million things, every day

remind me of you

There are some days when I go for days

without thinking of you

Blocking you out

Doing all sorts of things, with not a moment to myself

Then when I sit down to think

I can only wish it were different

I wish I could pick up the phone and call you instead

I saw your hand writing at home the other day

People used to say ...

You used to say mine was almost like yours

I never read any of your stuff, after ....

Every time I find anything,

I save it

Like it's my life line

Keep it safe.

But I've never read any of them

Never had the courage

Every time I just think of you,

there's a tear waiting

if you were here, and we were watching some senti movie

I would've made fun if any one did that

You would've told me to try and be more sympathetic

That it does happen

Now I get it

But, you're not here to tell me anything.

There have been so many changes in my life

so many changes in me

Some that I know you'll be proud of

Some you'll feel sorry for

and some I desperately wish I knew if you'd approve

You always let me make my decisions

It's not .... It doesn't feel quite the same anymore.

Sometimes, late at night, I try remembering the way you smell

I couldn't .... 

I haven't been able to for sometime

As hard as I try

Please don't go away

Please don't leave me alone ....