Peace
Peace is lying on the back seat of the car
Watching the trees buzz by
Sky so blue
Up so high
Small piece of chocolate put in the mouth
Hair occasionally, absently stroked
Lying on the back seat of the car
Lying on his lap
Doubt
Doubt is something enormous suddenly sinking in
Getting through courtship
Getting through the engagement
Gushing through the wedding
Skipping through the honeymoon
Standing in the grocery store
Wondering what topping he likes
Not knowing how big the thing you have gotten into is
Not knowing if you can handle it
Hope
Hope is believing without reason
That things will get better
That the better job
That other person
All those solutions
Or just any of the above, happen
Without much reason, sometimes with it.
Wish
:)
A wish is .....
A big hope, mixed with doubt, that gives us peace - in just being there
A belief in the hope
A reassurance in the doubt
And a reason to be peaceful :)
Showing posts with label Tiny little things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tiny little things. Show all posts
Those little things
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Today, I was 1.5 hour into a movie, at the movie theatre. About a half hour after the intermission.
The imitation game. A brilliant movie, I love the actor, I loved the relationship equations being portrayed in the movie, and it was just closing in to the climax.
All I wanted to do was lean my head on the seat in front of me.
I wasn't unwell. Not physically. At the theatre that is.
I did have a friend next to me, but I didn't want to lean on him. I just wanted to rest my head, which was suddenly feeling too heavy for my neck somewhere. Put my head down.
One a side note: Personally, I feel the shoulder is one of the most attractive feature on men. Some so broad, like they were made just to be leant on. With the right person, that support is priceless.
I think it's a natural instinct, to get into a position which ensures more supply of blood to the part of the brain that is suddenly - forcibly - put on overdrive. To lean forward, and shut eyes as well in the process.
What got the brain into an overdrive was a 2 minute conversation. So crazy. That simple.
The imitation game. A brilliant movie, I love the actor, I loved the relationship equations being portrayed in the movie, and it was just closing in to the climax.
All I wanted to do was lean my head on the seat in front of me.
I wasn't unwell. Not physically. At the theatre that is.
I did have a friend next to me, but I didn't want to lean on him. I just wanted to rest my head, which was suddenly feeling too heavy for my neck somewhere. Put my head down.
One a side note: Personally, I feel the shoulder is one of the most attractive feature on men. Some so broad, like they were made just to be leant on. With the right person, that support is priceless.
I think it's a natural instinct, to get into a position which ensures more supply of blood to the part of the brain that is suddenly - forcibly - put on overdrive. To lean forward, and shut eyes as well in the process.
What got the brain into an overdrive was a 2 minute conversation. So crazy. That simple.
And the leaning ...well I didn't do it this time.
But I have given in, many a time, and trust me, it helps. If not for anything else, but for providing one moment of absolute peace, that'll strengthen you right up before going back to deal with the chaos reigning in the mind.
Monday, January 26, 2015
She stepped into the book store
It was the same as ever ... toys.. a little bot of furniture ... accessories ...but mainly books.
"I'm inside the mall... I'll wait inside...."
"I know where you would wait. I'm there already "
She smiled as she hung up the phone. It was a good thing that he never made her wait. Very sweet too... made her believed in old fashioned chivalry. Though he never opened doors for her ... well you win some, lose some.
He decided to head towards the auto-mobile magazine counter from the science book shelves. It commanded a much better view of the entrance. So he could see her when she arrived. It's not that she would have difficulty finding him ..but he liked how she entered. Always a bit distracted, like she's trying to absorb all those colours in at once, while explaining to the security that her backpack was her equivalent of her handbag, and that she should be allowed to take it in... and then she'd spot him, and suddenly she's looking only at him. And the smile would spread on her face, the smile he knew was meant only for him, and everything else matters a little less for that moment. He moved to that counter, so he could see that smile much faster. The one that reminded him why he'd been grinning a lot that day... why he smiled a lot these days.
She entered the book store. They had a little of home décor, toys, accessories, but it was mainly books. Rows and rows of shelves of heavenly smelling books.
After a relatively easy convincing session of the security guard. She liked that he waited close to the entrance these days. Earlier, back when they were friends, he used to be flipping through the science books with earnestness or be somewhere along the PST game DVD section.
It was funny because the first time they had met... all those years ago, was at a library.
Though they didn't really read the same genre of books - unless it was science fiction, the only area where their interests overlapped - books were always a common ground for them. Though they came to hang out with each other, they invariably spent quite a bit of time inside the book store itself. Even if they were in different sections, they'd look over to where they each stood, and smile absently ... or either of them would take the book they are more engrossed in, and stand next to the other person, absently smiling at each other occasionally, or showing each other passages.
As they left, he almost always would have secretly bought her a chocolate ..and she would have got him his mint supplies till they next met. Of course they would go somewhere after that. But this was tradition.
She entered the book store ... it was still the same, home-décor, toys ....books ... but so little of them. They were closing down, and it was the final 10 days of clearance sale.
There were just 2 racks of toys - all those legos, soft toys, DVDs, everything encompassed in just 2 racks. What once used to be a whole section of it. And the books, oh so pitifully laid out on 4 tables at the centre of all those empty shelves. 4 tables, with sign boards that said "90% off". That's what it all came down to. 10% of it's original value.
After they had broken up ... they had still remained friends. But she could never bring herself to visit this mall much after that. It had been "Their Place". She didn't think he went there much either. Eventually they too had grown apart and all that was left was memories. She had visited the book store a couple of times however, just for old time's sake.
She had heard from a friend that it was shutting down. More than the sale itself, she had come to say good bye to the store. Almost like saying farewell to an old friend. An old friend who knew all the secrets of her first love.
It was the same as ever ... toys.. a little bot of furniture ... accessories ...but mainly books.
"I'm inside the mall... I'll wait inside...."
"I know where you would wait. I'm there already "
She smiled as she hung up the phone. It was a good thing that he never made her wait. Very sweet too... made her believed in old fashioned chivalry. Though he never opened doors for her ... well you win some, lose some.
He decided to head towards the auto-mobile magazine counter from the science book shelves. It commanded a much better view of the entrance. So he could see her when she arrived. It's not that she would have difficulty finding him ..but he liked how she entered. Always a bit distracted, like she's trying to absorb all those colours in at once, while explaining to the security that her backpack was her equivalent of her handbag, and that she should be allowed to take it in... and then she'd spot him, and suddenly she's looking only at him. And the smile would spread on her face, the smile he knew was meant only for him, and everything else matters a little less for that moment. He moved to that counter, so he could see that smile much faster. The one that reminded him why he'd been grinning a lot that day... why he smiled a lot these days.
She entered the book store. They had a little of home décor, toys, accessories, but it was mainly books. Rows and rows of shelves of heavenly smelling books.
After a relatively easy convincing session of the security guard. She liked that he waited close to the entrance these days. Earlier, back when they were friends, he used to be flipping through the science books with earnestness or be somewhere along the PST game DVD section.
It was funny because the first time they had met... all those years ago, was at a library.
Though they didn't really read the same genre of books - unless it was science fiction, the only area where their interests overlapped - books were always a common ground for them. Though they came to hang out with each other, they invariably spent quite a bit of time inside the book store itself. Even if they were in different sections, they'd look over to where they each stood, and smile absently ... or either of them would take the book they are more engrossed in, and stand next to the other person, absently smiling at each other occasionally, or showing each other passages.
As they left, he almost always would have secretly bought her a chocolate ..and she would have got him his mint supplies till they next met. Of course they would go somewhere after that. But this was tradition.
She entered the book store ... it was still the same, home-décor, toys ....books ... but so little of them. They were closing down, and it was the final 10 days of clearance sale.
There were just 2 racks of toys - all those legos, soft toys, DVDs, everything encompassed in just 2 racks. What once used to be a whole section of it. And the books, oh so pitifully laid out on 4 tables at the centre of all those empty shelves. 4 tables, with sign boards that said "90% off". That's what it all came down to. 10% of it's original value.
After they had broken up ... they had still remained friends. But she could never bring herself to visit this mall much after that. It had been "Their Place". She didn't think he went there much either. Eventually they too had grown apart and all that was left was memories. She had visited the book store a couple of times however, just for old time's sake.
She had heard from a friend that it was shutting down. More than the sale itself, she had come to say good bye to the store. Almost like saying farewell to an old friend. An old friend who knew all the secrets of her first love.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Time..habits...
Weird things those. They change so many things.
Yesterday, I heard something.
Logically, I should have...could have rather, felt bad, or sad about it.
I was just pleasantly happy for him.
Not in the defensive self protective, opposite acting out kinda way, but genuinely happy that he found someone for himself. I'd believed that I might feel bad about it. Expected so even. But time, wonderful thing that it is, has made it possible that it didn't matter to me at all.
He is no more an emotion. He is just a memory. A memory of interesting emotions once felt. Not even special enough to fondly remember much.
He is just somebody who once was.
(It is a possibility that we knew we were not right for each other, and hence I never actually registered him that much. Yet, I believed that I had cared enough to care. But no more. Which is a pleasant relief. :) )
Yesterday, my grandma slashed her hand. Early in the morning, as she opened the gate for me to leave for work.
At first it didn't bleed, but in 3 seconds, it was a blood bathed finger. In her right hand, that too! I quickly got the first aid kit, and left after she assured me that it wasn't deep and that it didn't hurt much, and with my sister in charge.
I get home in the evening to see that my grandmother, obsessive cleaner that she is, had done everything she would do on a normal day, and was soberly sitting with a very swollen ring finger. Especially with the blood still oozing a bit. Considering she's diabetic, and it had been more than 12 hours since she cut herself... Not a nice scene.
Queasy around blood, I've always been.
Yet weirdly, first aid is almost an instinct for me.
Not that I know exactly what to do all the time. But I do know how to get it done, and the will/ patience/ gut to stick around till it's done. No matter how much blood there is. No matter how queasy it makes me.
I guess it has a lot to do with all the time I've spent in the hospital as a kid. I remember at least 2 whole summers there.
It's strange that I hate the smell of hospitals... still can't get a shot/ get blood drawn alone, without my dad or someone close standing close to me, and letting me squeeze their hand, as my eyes stay firmly tightly shut. Still will not go to a hospital unless it's terribly serious, and I have no strength to stop.. no, fight the people (plural - requirement. Trust me) who are dragging me there.
And yet, I feel safest in a hospital. A place where people in white coats can make the worst news seem like something that can be gotten through, something that can be overcome. White coats with the power to give hope to the hopeless, and time to the dying. Sometimes, rarely, even life to the dying.
Yesterday, I spoke to my cousin who is a doctor, got my instructions, and when I was done with her finger 2 hours later (repeated ice compresses and cotton presses and whatnot) the swelling had completely gone away, and the bleeding stopped. As I wrapped it up for the night, I felt a feeling of accomplishment, more than I would do after 3 solid days of work!
Habits... ingrained over time, almost made as instinctive as a reaction
Time ... changing what once used to be habit, to mere memories
Strange things those.
Strange wonderful things.
Weird things those. They change so many things.
Yesterday, I heard something.
Logically, I should have...could have rather, felt bad, or sad about it.
I was just pleasantly happy for him.
Not in the defensive self protective, opposite acting out kinda way, but genuinely happy that he found someone for himself. I'd believed that I might feel bad about it. Expected so even. But time, wonderful thing that it is, has made it possible that it didn't matter to me at all.
He is no more an emotion. He is just a memory. A memory of interesting emotions once felt. Not even special enough to fondly remember much.
He is just somebody who once was.
(It is a possibility that we knew we were not right for each other, and hence I never actually registered him that much. Yet, I believed that I had cared enough to care. But no more. Which is a pleasant relief. :) )
Yesterday, my grandma slashed her hand. Early in the morning, as she opened the gate for me to leave for work.
At first it didn't bleed, but in 3 seconds, it was a blood bathed finger. In her right hand, that too! I quickly got the first aid kit, and left after she assured me that it wasn't deep and that it didn't hurt much, and with my sister in charge.
I get home in the evening to see that my grandmother, obsessive cleaner that she is, had done everything she would do on a normal day, and was soberly sitting with a very swollen ring finger. Especially with the blood still oozing a bit. Considering she's diabetic, and it had been more than 12 hours since she cut herself... Not a nice scene.
Queasy around blood, I've always been.
Yet weirdly, first aid is almost an instinct for me.
Not that I know exactly what to do all the time. But I do know how to get it done, and the will/ patience/ gut to stick around till it's done. No matter how much blood there is. No matter how queasy it makes me.
I guess it has a lot to do with all the time I've spent in the hospital as a kid. I remember at least 2 whole summers there.
It's strange that I hate the smell of hospitals... still can't get a shot/ get blood drawn alone, without my dad or someone close standing close to me, and letting me squeeze their hand, as my eyes stay firmly tightly shut. Still will not go to a hospital unless it's terribly serious, and I have no strength to stop.. no, fight the people (plural - requirement. Trust me) who are dragging me there.
And yet, I feel safest in a hospital. A place where people in white coats can make the worst news seem like something that can be gotten through, something that can be overcome. White coats with the power to give hope to the hopeless, and time to the dying. Sometimes, rarely, even life to the dying.
Yesterday, I spoke to my cousin who is a doctor, got my instructions, and when I was done with her finger 2 hours later (repeated ice compresses and cotton presses and whatnot) the swelling had completely gone away, and the bleeding stopped. As I wrapped it up for the night, I felt a feeling of accomplishment, more than I would do after 3 solid days of work!
Habits... ingrained over time, almost made as instinctive as a reaction
Time ... changing what once used to be habit, to mere memories
Strange things those.
Strange wonderful things.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Christmas 2014
I have a feeling that in my many many years to come, 2014 may by far be the best in terms of gifts received!
It was crazy and it was awesome :D
My amazingly lovely friends, and online shopping together made it a Christmas which would have made any Santa proud, and any little girl (apparently big girls too!) squeal with excitement.
I know it is materialistic of me... but I'm going to indulge this time.
So it all started with my very normal, and very regular "Christmas List"
The kind I put up before every birthday, and every Christmas. You know, that random wish list that everybody has :)
My blog is not the most famous or popular...but a few good friends still follow it sweetly! And I guess it all started there ... and with a few of my good friends from office wanting to get me Christmas gifts as well, seeing how crazily I seemed to be grinning and jumping around all the time due to the Christmas season! Or even before, when I got myself the OTG, which was the biggest one on the list, and started my baking frenzy ;)
There are about 4 to 5 little chapters to this Christmas story, after the OTG :) Maybe more!
1.
"Hey, I have to get a dress for a friend who is about the same height and build as you. Help me pick one from the options I'm going to send you"
How sweet is that! From a most obvious friend ;)
We spent almost 2 hours checking out oh-so-many dresses. When I said that I didn't prefer the red, only because I had 2 other red dresses, he agreed. Completely giving away the fact that it was for me. Yet almost innocently believing that it would come as a surprise to me.
But the website sends me a text as soon as the order is confirmed, and the poor dear was so upset that the cat was out of the bag so soon! But it was a gorgeous dress, and he is an absolute darling!
2.
"An office backpack"
So my good friend from office decided that his Christmas present would be the Office Back pack. I love my purple ones, but they've become slightly old, and hence it's time for a change you see.
We spent days looking for one, and went through countless stores - online and brick. But to no avail.
Then one fine day, one more friend from office says lets all go shopping, and within the hour, I had a(nother) pretty black and gold dress (A traditional one this time) and black pumps (from the list! :D )
So the office backpack didn't get through, but who cares when better things were in store!
I think I'll bling up my old ones and revamp them ;)
3.
(I get a call) "Tell this guy where you're is! Quick"
This from the same friend who got me the dress. "But whyyy...you ...you already got me...". "babe, he's at you're street, and can't find your house. Call him now!"
I got a box, which claimed to have 7 items in it. But I promised my friend that I wouldn't open it till Christmas day. So it waited around till then, and on Christmas day I find that it's got seven bottles of beautiful nail paints. Yaay yaay !! 2 of them which have already found their way on to my nails :)
Happiness!
4.
"So, When I get back, I'm going to take you on that long drive on the ECR"
Aren't promises of good things to come the most gladdening things ever. It's like a nice thing to look forward to, and it's always a good feeling!
5.
"Umm... dessert bowls?"
"You're baking now... "
"Äaaaahhh...."
;)
6.
"How many boxes of things keep coming to you ?!?!"
Well, between the stuff I was buying for others, and the gifts, there sure were many. So it's kind of understandable that my grandmother was getting a little suspicious of it all.
I keep this box till Christmas day as well. And this too is from the same friend. I guess I might as well just rename him THE BEST SANTA EVER. This time, they were headphones.
And, not just random Phillips or even fancy Sony headphones I wanted (because my old headphones had gotten slightly worn out) but these were over the top JBL head phones ... about which he asks if I am okay with the J55 ...that he considered the J88, but they seemed too big. Blink blink. White headphones that perfect match my laptop and have ridiculously amazingly brilliant sound quality - WHOAVE only :P
7.
I also got a silent gift - silent because that person and I had a major fall out. Yet we still silently traded gifts.
I know it's the thought that counts ... but how much thought have these amazing people put into not just the gift, but also how and why they picked those.
Be it my favourite Santa ever, who not only spent hours picking a dress for me, but also went to many stores and checked sizes of headphones, and so sweetly announced that he has never shopped for nail paints before, and he hoped to God that I liked those! Or my friend who picked out dessert bowls cause I'm baking or those sweet souls who would have scourged no less than a dozen shops with me, as I happily hunted for what I wanted. And of course my dad, who not only bought me an amazingly fancy dress, but also kidnapped my sister and brought her home for a crash visit this Christmas - because next Christmas I may (like he desperately hopes) or may not have another family that would have my divided attention as well.
This Christmas, I really did feel wonderfully blessed and loved :)
And more so, because I realize there are so many people who actually want me to have a wonderfully blessed and merry Christmas!
Thank you so very muchly and wish you all a very Merry Christmas! .*.
P.S : I'm still wondering what on earth I should get my peter pan Santa friend ... he wouldn't tell me what he wants o.o
Any suggestions?
Saturday, March 15, 2014
3 turn ons
1. Honest laughter that reach the eyes
2. Chivalry
3. Humour :)
Not giving the list of runner ups - that would be revealing too much here ;P
Thursday, March 13, 2014
4 turn offs ....
Hmm... picking the top 4
1. Guys who talk like they know everything. Giving advice for everything. It's an instant turn off.
2. Swearing and using "di" ~ keep off dude
3. Distracted people who dont meet my eye, especially during a conversation
4. Men who order for me when I didn't ask them too
Other top contenders for the list were:
1. Bad breath, bad body odour
2. Wearing socks with holes
3. Eating with the mouth open
4. Dirty nails
5. Being late more than twice (and even worse, not apologizing for it)
6. Being totally unplanned and unorganized
7. Not giving reason for responses
8. Being too loud
9. Talking too much
10. Hurting me physically, even slightly, even as a joke
;P
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
5 people who mean a lot to me
This one's the easiest list of the lot :)
1. Daddy and my sister
2. My family beyond that
3. My 10 best friends
4. My colleagues past and present, who made and make my work life not just bearable, but fun!
5. God
I know you could say that it's cheating, and I got to give 5 names... but I can't ever pick between these 5. If I did, I'd have redefine myself in a mutilated way!
♥
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
6 things I wish I'd never done
(Again in no particular order)
1. That promise
2. A particular spree of texting one evening last July
3. Buying thay horrible Intel Xolo
4. Told someone how I felt way back in 2011
5. Told someone something in fruatration in Feb 2014
6. Said something in a certain way to my sister late 2012... I wish I'd atleast handled that conversation differently, a lot differently
7. Tried to be something Im not for a bunch of people who didnt care either way for almost 6 ~ 7 years of my life
I didn't realize I had so many things I regretted! ;P Ah well
Sunday, March 9, 2014
7 things that cross my mind a lot ....(recently)
( In no particular order)
1. When will I ever finish Inheritance ( through 180 pages of the book)
2. Finding a new job..hopefully close to where I stay with a really good profile, decision making abilities and a better boss
3. When I will start something on my own
4. Losing weight
5. Wishing life had more variety and something fun happening
6. Will I turn 26 before my first k...
7. What this April holds in store
Saturday, March 8, 2014
8 ways to steal my heart
8. Long walks without phones!
7. Dark chocolate ice cream
6. Have time for me
5. Make my dad like you ;)
4. Let me know how you feel, and find out how I feel
3. Surprises :)
2. Remember what I like
1. Make me laugh
Thursday, March 6, 2014
9 things about myself :
1. I'm Taurean
2. I think too much
3. I'm not very good with groups of people. More comfortable with interacting with 1 or 2 people at a time
4. I like making stuff
5. I love the rain, and the beach is a close second
6. I like travelling alone and am more used to it
7. My first male love was Laurie from Little women, because he's sweet and makes evrryone laugh. I felt terrible about him not ending up with Jo.
8. I like taking photos because I have an itch to document as much as possible... lest I forget it. Thats part of the reason I write too.
9. I'm not really a complicated person. My motivators are very basic.
:)
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Idea borrowed from Gitanjali Naidu, who blogs here : http://gitanjalinaidu.wordpress.com/ ;) Good thing too, as Ive been neglecting my poor blog for a bit and just reappeared a while back. I think this is gonna be fun, feel free to try it too :D
Ten things I want to tell 10 different people right now...Here goes!
1. Aj ~ How are you doing ?
2. Mmy ~ I'm feeling absolutely clueless this year. It feels like there is nothing to looking forward to. Will it get better?
3. Daddy ~ I'm sure I'll figure things out. Though I am at a rebellious phase, don't worry, the dust might settle soon ;) ( soon is a relative term though)
4. "I am sick of making comparison reports! Just use your brain and let me use mine!!!!"
5. Nman "We were such good friends... whatever happened?"
6. Bummer ~ Where in the world are you? I misseth you!
7. Pri ~ Relax babe, life is a crazy mess for all of us. Not just you.
8. Chingette 1 ~ Will you go away and forget all abt me ??? O.o
9. Chingette 2 ~ I miss those long detailed scientific discussions that we had!
10. Harper Collins ~ When exactly are you planning to publish my story ?!?!??!?!
And to Jef, Git, Chu , Mis, Sug , Nik and Nit (and of course nos.: 2, 3, 6, 7, 8 & 9)~ I may not say it enough, I might show it even lesser, but I want you to know that I really really really love you ♥
Saturday, August 31, 2013
A little about me
Read if you're bored or curious!
Or just paste the questions in your blogger, and start answering for yourself :)
1. Most comforting place, smell, sound and memory?
Place.... by the beach, the sunrise... or by a river...I guess in not so crowded places near large water bodies
Smell... milk and mum
Sound...rain
Memory....Hot chocolate, or was it cold? Heavy rain, sitting in 2 arm chairs in the verandah, having a long talk with mum about God knows what.
2. Your ambitions as a child and your ambitions now
As a child: to become a truck driver
Now: To become a famous author, singer, poet, lyricist, travel blogger...photographer
3. Biggest fear
Dogs.
4. Qualities you would like in a partner (if you would like one)
Trustworthy, patient and a really good sense of humour
5. Traits you couldn’t put up with in a partner (if you would like one)
Lying and not giving importance to the relationship
6. What is the worst thing you have done to another person? (Let them down, lied, faked love etc)
Ignored someone.
7. What are your worst traits and features?
Attention seeker. Dominant. Easily bored.
8. What are your best traits and features?
I don't give up on people I care about (It doesn't feel like the best thing right now, but I think/ hope it stays)
9. How would you explain your idea of ‘true love’?
Wanting to be anyone for that person. Being able to completely be yourself with that person. Someone you automatically think about first when something good or bad happens. Someone who's presence you can feel. Someone, who, you automatically look for in a crowd. Someone you miss even before they leave. Someone, who... just through memories makes you smile/ laugh/ cry.
10. The biggest mistake you’ve made.
A promise a very long time ago.
11. Are you rational or more emotional?
Emotional 70%
12. Do you think you’re very conscious of the feelings of others or more self oriented?
Self oriented..60%
13. Greatest achievement personally.
If I had already achieved it, life would have become boring
14. If you struggle to sleep at night, what do you do to try and soothe yourself to sleep?
Rewrite endings of stories
15. What irritates you most about society?
Tolerance to dirt and messiness (mine included)
16. When you compliment someone, what do you tend to focus on? (Looks, intelligence, personality…)
Whatever stands out in that person. A compliment is about them :)
17. Think of your oldest friend. If you met them now do you think you would still become friends?
Without a doubt
18. Something you love to do, but feel guilty about after/during?
Eating out. Junk food. Texting some people. Whiling away time.
19. Would you like children in the future. If so why?
Mmmmm...... :)
50 little things
1.How many pets do you own?
One. Rock. I think he might have died a while ago.
2. What’s your least favorite season?
Winter, when it doesn't rain
3. Do you prefer to text or call?
Depends on the person.
I mostly just prefer face to face conversations
4. Morning or night?
Night. Midnight.
5. Do you like tacos?
Not so much.
6. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Ambi
7. What’s your favorite desert?
Fried ice cream
8. Do you enjoy walks?
Love it. :)
9. Are you a frequent user of Facebook?
Unfortunately, yes.
Do I post everything about my life? No
10. Do you watch animated shows still?
More than many people. A lot less than I used to.
11. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes.
12. What’s your “lucky” number?
23
13. Are you scared of anything?
Dogs.
Not knowing why.
Being walked away from.
14. Big mac or big whopper?
Big Whopper
15. Do you like to play board games?
A little too much :P
16. Are you fond of romantic novels?
I even write them sometimes :P
17. Fruitloops or cocopops?
Neither
18. Would you eat a live spider for one million dollars?
If it's small, bring it on baby!
19. Are you a heavy drinker?
Nah
I can hold my drink though ;)
20. Would you forgive someone for cheating?
I'm not sure.
I'm starting to wonder (be afraid) that I just might.
21. Are you superstitious?
Yeah....
22. Have you seen A Clockwork Orange?
No. Whazzit?
23. Do you like to read?
Yes .... its a need. Which has its seasons.
24. Are you easily distressed?
Nope.
But when I am :/
25. Do you believe in aliens?
Maybe.... other beings in other planets...hmmmm
26. If you were the last person alive besides one other person you get to chose, who would it be?
Logically, it makes sense for it to be a man right?
But I'd still pick my sister :)
27. Dogs or cats?
Neither
But if I HAVE to pick, cats.
28. Are you a grumpy person?
Nope
29. What’s something you hate?
Lies. Being left out of a secret.
30. Are you a worry wart?
A teensie little bit.
31. Do you like having your picture taken?
Sometimes, when I feel I look good :)
32. Do you like cotton candy?
When I'm in the mood for sweet stuff.
33. Would you ever use a dating site?
Don't think I'm the type.
Though I might try one out of curiosity.
34. Do you believe in ghosts?
No
35. Rap or pop?
Pop
36. What’s the weirdest flavor of ice cream you’ve tried?
Mint with something (*Shudder*)
37. Do you like math?
I like formulae.
38. Are you the type of person to laugh at others misfortune?
Yes, but I laugh at mine too.
39. Love or lust?
Love.
40. Do you remember lyrics easily?
Of songs I like...or those that get stuck in my head.
41. What was/is your favorite school subject?
Science.
I think I might have been a well hidden geek
42: Do you like tattoos?
No
43. Are you the type of person to lie?
Sometimes.... for work?
44. Do you eat porridge for breakfast?
Ugh no
45. What music are you listening to right now?
Silence of the wind :)
46. Are you allergic to anything?
Metal...dust... the some types of artificial wood in tables...
47. Do you like Lady Gaga?
Just her speaking accent
48. What about Nick Minaj?
Who dat?.
49. Do you like rainy days?
More than a bowl of ice cream :)
50. Last question, do you like pie?
Apple pie? Yesh ! ;)
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Before... when I heard the word heartbeat, I imagined something like this:
DUK dukk DUK dukk DUK dukk DUK dukk DUK dukk DUK dukk
Along with this auditory imagination, that glowy like that jumped up, then fell a little below the median then continued on the flat for a while before jumping again, also accompanied- almost always.
We've all heard the heartbeat thousands of times. When hugging someone close, or at least versions of it - in songs, in medical dramas, in thrillers, in cop dramas... various sources. And as someone who watches plenty of most of the above, I assumed that I knew the beating heart very well.
I was a student of biology after all; we were taught the process of the heart beat in detail!
None of this years of assumed awareness, nothing prepared me for how I'd feel when I actually heard a real heartbeat.
Not long ago, a cousin of mine, who so happens to be a student of medicine, happened to have his stethoscope in his back. Looking at my excited face, he urged me to try it out.
I first tried to listen to my sister's heartbeat. Being a novice, I heard nothing. Nothing apart from my sister shrieking in her most dramatic tone; "You're saying I don't have a heart? Oh noooooooooooo!"
My cousin, took the chest piece of the stethoscope and placed it on his own chest.
In word, it was amazing!
In many; It was an organ... amidst gushing blood and sturdy muscles. It sounded vaguely muffled and underwater. But so very real, and so much closer.
I've never felt more alive, and in touch with my body that the moment when I got to hear my own heartbeat after that. That feeling is indescribably incredible!
I've always said that I wanted a tall guy for myself. The secret reason, I've been to embarrassed to admit is that I like to hear the person's heartbeat when I hug them. A long time back, every morning; as soon as I woke up, I would groggily walk to the kitchen. My mom would be there cooking, facing the stoves (obviously ;) ) And I would hug her from the back, for a minute or two, till I wanted to properly wake up. Most of my waking up memories are in the kitchen, rather than on the bed.
It was the perfect way to wake up... listening to her soft and steady heartbeat, engulfed in mommy smell.
At one point, I used to wonder why the symbol of the heart was so popular.
It was probably enthralled and awestruck people like me who made the heart oh-so-famous after listening to it close up. But you know what? I think it's worth it :P
-
Love with all my heart,
Yours truly :)
Thursday, July 11, 2013
She woke up bright and early. It hadn't even dawned yet. Her alarm hadn't rung either. She just woke up because she was well rested. That was definitely .... Not something that had happened in quite a while.
She smiled contentedly.
Walking out to the veranda, she realized it had rained through the night and the rain cloud's were still at it. Softly.
There was a gentle drizzle, that combined with a soft cool breeze that brought to her the glorious whiff of the smell of rain soaked soil. Combined with the amazing colours of the slow brightening of the morning sky, it felt perfect.
Almost perfect.
This was the perfect time to get hugged. The thought almost popped into her head involuntarily. A rueful smile played along her lips. A quick memory of a certain walk on a rainy dusk flashed by, back when she had gotten a tight hug when she wanted it.
She hugged herself close and tight. The memory was tucked away before it can uld bring with it any pain. That would spoil this perfect morning. She smiled.... At herself, and the smile grew bigger as she let herself remember one last time.
Regrets? She asked herself.
Maybe a little bit, but not enough to be worried about.
The rain was after all a symbol of new beginnings.
The smile didn't fade away as she went on to get ready for the day.
Sometimes, the sky tells us that all will be alright again. Sometimes, all it has to do is rain, to make a girl smile.
Friday, January 25, 2013
This post is not about my little finger.
It is about my pointy finger.
(It is still little, when compared to me on the whole, so you see...)
Yesterday, I was doing something silly, and hurt my pointy finger. The one on my right hand. And right at the second joint, so I can't even bend it. It's pretty much a useless thing at the moment.
What I realized over the past day with my hurt pointy finger is ... are 3 different things.
1. How much I miss it
2. How easily it is replaceable
3. When it is not being useful, it is just getting in the way, hurting and making things uncomfortable.
I wanted to keep this only my little pointy finger ... but I have to pull out the metaphor.
A friend of mine recently had to stop being friends with another good friend of hers. Though she has unfortunately been unable to cover point 2, it's still the same feeling.
When something important to us, goes to a point where we can no longer treat it the same way, everything changes. It is difficult to work around it, but we eventually get used to it. To the point that we may even eventually wonder how it even felt to have it around in the first place.
It's been more than 5 whole years since my mom was around. I don't even think about her all the time any more. Last Christmas, when we went to our home town, we even forgot to visit her. We realized on the last day when it was too late. I felt a pang, but it wasn't that deep or strong.
I still do miss her. I still always wonder 'what if'. But I've learnt to live without her. I never thought I would, but here I am. I am probably refuting many of my own statements/ claims from yesteryear. Yet, it happened. My mum would have wanted me to keep going on. Have other big problems, react to them normally. Feel. I do all that now. I still have to figure out who I want to be, and keep a promise. But I guess it is time for me to do it on my own this time. No excuses. :)
I just have a tiny teensy scrape on my finger. It'll be fine in a week max. I will even forget this time, when I have to remember to keep my pointy finger straight and away from things that'll hurt it more. My middle finger will then stop handling the issues it has now taken over, and go back to being the second/ third in the importance hierarchy.
I won't have to miss it, it will be useful. It won't be getting in the way and I will once again believe that it is irreplaceable :)
Maybe, if this leaves a scar, I shall notice it on some random moment and laugh to myself about what I thought now.
The point of this post?
Just my little pointy finger ;)
It is about my pointy finger.
(It is still little, when compared to me on the whole, so you see...)
Yesterday, I was doing something silly, and hurt my pointy finger. The one on my right hand. And right at the second joint, so I can't even bend it. It's pretty much a useless thing at the moment.
What I realized over the past day with my hurt pointy finger is ... are 3 different things.
1. How much I miss it
2. How easily it is replaceable
3. When it is not being useful, it is just getting in the way, hurting and making things uncomfortable.
I wanted to keep this only my little pointy finger ... but I have to pull out the metaphor.
A friend of mine recently had to stop being friends with another good friend of hers. Though she has unfortunately been unable to cover point 2, it's still the same feeling.
When something important to us, goes to a point where we can no longer treat it the same way, everything changes. It is difficult to work around it, but we eventually get used to it. To the point that we may even eventually wonder how it even felt to have it around in the first place.
It's been more than 5 whole years since my mom was around. I don't even think about her all the time any more. Last Christmas, when we went to our home town, we even forgot to visit her. We realized on the last day when it was too late. I felt a pang, but it wasn't that deep or strong.
I still do miss her. I still always wonder 'what if'. But I've learnt to live without her. I never thought I would, but here I am. I am probably refuting many of my own statements/ claims from yesteryear. Yet, it happened. My mum would have wanted me to keep going on. Have other big problems, react to them normally. Feel. I do all that now. I still have to figure out who I want to be, and keep a promise. But I guess it is time for me to do it on my own this time. No excuses. :)
I just have a tiny teensy scrape on my finger. It'll be fine in a week max. I will even forget this time, when I have to remember to keep my pointy finger straight and away from things that'll hurt it more. My middle finger will then stop handling the issues it has now taken over, and go back to being the second/ third in the importance hierarchy.
I won't have to miss it, it will be useful. It won't be getting in the way and I will once again believe that it is irreplaceable :)
Maybe, if this leaves a scar, I shall notice it on some random moment and laugh to myself about what I thought now.
The point of this post?
Just my little pointy finger ;)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
I can normally hold a straight face. Even when someone in the restaurant topples soup all over themselves, I can keep a straight face and politely look away. Not any more apparently! Maybe it's the Christmas season, and I have been shamelessly embarrassing people, strangers no less!
To spread the joy, I going to tell you about a couple of incidents :P (You may choose to treat this as a warning, so as to not provoke me this December, keke ^.^)
The other day I called dominoes to order Pizza. (This was when in started) I had given the guy on the line my address and given directions as well.
The guy on the line was probably a student who was practising his accent or something.
"Having it here, or take away ma'am?" He asked smoothly
For one moment, the answer was both obvious and confusing to me
"Having it here.. at home" I replied, blinking through the phone. His blunder struck me, but I tried to be polite to him. (Like I said, this is when the funny bone started itching this season.)
I was half way through placing my order when I couldn't hold it any more. I burst out laughing, and my apologies come through in between the chuckles. The poor guy obviously knew why I was laughing, and tried to cover it up by adopting a stronger American accent. This just made is so much worse, and did not help his cause one bit!
I did eventually tame my laughter, and requested my usual extra seasoning along with the order. The extent of his embarrassment was evident when I received enough seasoning sachets to fill a pizza box by itself. ;)
Recently, a new bank has opened up in my locality. One of the employees who was sent along to canvas for the bank came-a-knocking on our door today. He had a whole bunch of pamphlets stashed away in a diary. After handing over one pamphlet, he opened the diary to take down the our name and contact number.
There was a big "i" symbol water marked in the middle of each page in the diary.
Even though the back he was representing starts with the letter "i", I knew right away that the diary he was holding was one from a competitor's bank. Probably his previous employer.
I know this because I once worked with that other bank as well!
As soon as I noticed it, "Isn't that from ___bank?" I asked. The words spilt by themselves! Really!
Normal bank canvassing lasts for at least five minutes. They explain the perks of banking with them, give us their contact details and generally try to close the sales right there at the door step. Today though, my sudden question and the laughter that followed saved me five whole minutes. Time I'm using here instead!
Merry Christmas Season .*.
To spread the joy, I going to tell you about a couple of incidents :P (You may choose to treat this as a warning, so as to not provoke me this December, keke ^.^)
The other day I called dominoes to order Pizza. (This was when in started) I had given the guy on the line my address and given directions as well.
The guy on the line was probably a student who was practising his accent or something.
"Having it here, or take away ma'am?" He asked smoothly
For one moment, the answer was both obvious and confusing to me
"Having it here.. at home" I replied, blinking through the phone. His blunder struck me, but I tried to be polite to him. (Like I said, this is when the funny bone started itching this season.)
I was half way through placing my order when I couldn't hold it any more. I burst out laughing, and my apologies come through in between the chuckles. The poor guy obviously knew why I was laughing, and tried to cover it up by adopting a stronger American accent. This just made is so much worse, and did not help his cause one bit!
I did eventually tame my laughter, and requested my usual extra seasoning along with the order. The extent of his embarrassment was evident when I received enough seasoning sachets to fill a pizza box by itself. ;)
Recently, a new bank has opened up in my locality. One of the employees who was sent along to canvas for the bank came-a-knocking on our door today. He had a whole bunch of pamphlets stashed away in a diary. After handing over one pamphlet, he opened the diary to take down the our name and contact number.
There was a big "i" symbol water marked in the middle of each page in the diary.
Even though the back he was representing starts with the letter "i", I knew right away that the diary he was holding was one from a competitor's bank. Probably his previous employer.
I know this because I once worked with that other bank as well!
As soon as I noticed it, "Isn't that from ___bank?" I asked. The words spilt by themselves! Really!
Normal bank canvassing lasts for at least five minutes. They explain the perks of banking with them, give us their contact details and generally try to close the sales right there at the door step. Today though, my sudden question and the laughter that followed saved me five whole minutes. Time I'm using here instead!
Merry Christmas Season .*.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Have you heard the song 'Colour Blind'?
Advent
A surprisingly sweet couple goofing off near a river
Simple uncomplicated reassurances
My book shaping up nicely
Hot soup
Cold Soda
Conversations
An old celebrity crush remembered
A good blog post (!)
An upcoming vacation
One more closure silently achieved
Small realizations
Pink bells
December
Love
Day dreams
Midnights
All of these...
Some of these?
Or maybe none of these
Have left me feeling good right now
Quiet contentment
Just the way I like it :)
Advent
A surprisingly sweet couple goofing off near a river
Simple uncomplicated reassurances
My book shaping up nicely
Hot soup
Cold Soda
Conversations
An old celebrity crush remembered
A good blog post (!)
An upcoming vacation
One more closure silently achieved
Small realizations
Pink bells
December
Love
Day dreams
Midnights
All of these...
Some of these?
Or maybe none of these
Have left me feeling good right now
Quiet contentment
Just the way I like it :)
Tis the season to be Fluey...Tralalallalala laa laa laa !
Yush, I have the flu and from me, so does my sister.
The first day, I spent miserable and silent. Breathing was restricted, and I hardly slept that night. I thought up of possible clever things people could invent to help poor souls in such state. Taking a quick minute to describe that. (Please feel free to invent it, I shall ask for no royalty or copy right, I promise!)
1.5 inch long flexible tube with a slight funnel at one end so it fits smugly along the throat. Made of minty soothing digestible material that get ingested over a period of 6 to 8 hours.
Purpose: Completely stops throat itching and nasal blockage
Aim: Uninterrupted sleep for more than 3 minutes.
The second day, the cold had gotten much worse and I spent most of it trying to soothe my chest - or googling ways to get the rib cage away from the lungs.
And today, the third day, it still feels the same, but I've gotten used to it. Restricted verbal communication, hot spicy liquids, and a morbid sense of humour have helped me get through today. And here I am, sharing :)
Having the flu has made me notice a few things, I normally wouldn't.
I was watching a drama in which the lead sells cake out in the freezing cold to make money for a present. He ends up catching a cold [so the heroine can feel undue amount of pity for him of course! No one in my family really seem to be worried that I caught a cold...humph. Getting back on track...] The hero gets done with the part time job in the fag end of Christmas eve, rushes to the store, buys the said present, then goes back home exhausted. He drops the bag on the floor, coughs wheezes a couple of times and flops on his bed. His head does not reach a pillow, he's just curved up with his head tilted downward.
Normally, when I see something like this I would be pondering over aspects such as 'When he tried so hard to get it before midnight Christmas eve, why isn't he giving it to her before flopping over?', or 'why couldn't he just call her' or something like that. Today, all I could think of was: With the head in that angle, his nose is bound to get blocked in less than 30 seconds, how come he's not coughing his head away even after being motionless in that position for almost 2 whole minutes! See what I mean? Directorial flaw.
This got me thinking back to another cute kissing scene in a different drama.
The heroine and hero have been playing hide and seek with each other, and since they're really good at it, they last about six years before finally bumping into each other again. So chemistry builds, and when its finally about to hit crescendo she already has a cold. (Not just a sneeze here or there, but a running nose for which she carries medicines).
So, they're sitting in the stairway of the hospital and they're finally confronting the elephant in the...stairway. It was probably a tight squeeze, but lets just work around that. She gives him the final ultimatum, "Tell me if you love me, or I'm going to sprinkle kisses all over your face" (If all ultimatums worked that way, right?) The guy who has finally had enough of running away (Alleluia!) goes in for the grand gesture and plants a big one on her.
When I saw this, I found it adorable. The direction was brilliant, the camera, background score...even the script! Wherein, once he's done, she has this smug smile on her face as she hands over her meds to him and tells him to take it thirty minutes after meals.
Sweet right?
No.
If she really had a cold - and it was her second or third day as per the drama, then that kiss would have totally suffocated her. It would have been a murder attempt! All of us know that our mouth does most of the breathing when we're stuck with a runny nose! And he shuts that! Sigh... how reckless of him right? I shudder to imagine it.
I wrapping up now with a small request to all the film makers out there:
Please take the cold seriously!!!!
P.S: It's ADVENT!!!!
TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY :D
ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE :D
Wishing you a safe and happy holiday season y'all!
The first day, I spent miserable and silent. Breathing was restricted, and I hardly slept that night. I thought up of possible clever things people could invent to help poor souls in such state. Taking a quick minute to describe that. (Please feel free to invent it, I shall ask for no royalty or copy right, I promise!)
1.5 inch long flexible tube with a slight funnel at one end so it fits smugly along the throat. Made of minty soothing digestible material that get ingested over a period of 6 to 8 hours.
Purpose: Completely stops throat itching and nasal blockage
Aim: Uninterrupted sleep for more than 3 minutes.
The second day, the cold had gotten much worse and I spent most of it trying to soothe my chest - or googling ways to get the rib cage away from the lungs.
And today, the third day, it still feels the same, but I've gotten used to it. Restricted verbal communication, hot spicy liquids, and a morbid sense of humour have helped me get through today. And here I am, sharing :)
Having the flu has made me notice a few things, I normally wouldn't.
I was watching a drama in which the lead sells cake out in the freezing cold to make money for a present. He ends up catching a cold [so the heroine can feel undue amount of pity for him of course! No one in my family really seem to be worried that I caught a cold...humph. Getting back on track...] The hero gets done with the part time job in the fag end of Christmas eve, rushes to the store, buys the said present, then goes back home exhausted. He drops the bag on the floor, coughs wheezes a couple of times and flops on his bed. His head does not reach a pillow, he's just curved up with his head tilted downward.
Normally, when I see something like this I would be pondering over aspects such as 'When he tried so hard to get it before midnight Christmas eve, why isn't he giving it to her before flopping over?', or 'why couldn't he just call her' or something like that. Today, all I could think of was: With the head in that angle, his nose is bound to get blocked in less than 30 seconds, how come he's not coughing his head away even after being motionless in that position for almost 2 whole minutes! See what I mean? Directorial flaw.
This got me thinking back to another cute kissing scene in a different drama.
The heroine and hero have been playing hide and seek with each other, and since they're really good at it, they last about six years before finally bumping into each other again. So chemistry builds, and when its finally about to hit crescendo she already has a cold. (Not just a sneeze here or there, but a running nose for which she carries medicines).
So, they're sitting in the stairway of the hospital and they're finally confronting the elephant in the...stairway. It was probably a tight squeeze, but lets just work around that. She gives him the final ultimatum, "Tell me if you love me, or I'm going to sprinkle kisses all over your face" (If all ultimatums worked that way, right?) The guy who has finally had enough of running away (Alleluia!) goes in for the grand gesture and plants a big one on her.
When I saw this, I found it adorable. The direction was brilliant, the camera, background score...even the script! Wherein, once he's done, she has this smug smile on her face as she hands over her meds to him and tells him to take it thirty minutes after meals.
Sweet right?
No.
If she really had a cold - and it was her second or third day as per the drama, then that kiss would have totally suffocated her. It would have been a murder attempt! All of us know that our mouth does most of the breathing when we're stuck with a runny nose! And he shuts that! Sigh... how reckless of him right? I shudder to imagine it.
I wrapping up now with a small request to all the film makers out there:
Please take the cold seriously!!!!
P.S: It's ADVENT!!!!
TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY :D
ITS HERE ITS HERE ITS HERE :D
Wishing you a safe and happy holiday season y'all!
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