Splashing, Sputtering and Spewing - Learning to breathe from scratch!

Breathing was the ONLY skill we never had to learn. It's the first thing we do when we entered this earth. Some of us did it easily, some with a little fuss, but we all did it.
When something is easy, we say it comes as naturally as breathing.
Now I have to relearn breathing - and my entire head it revolting at the idea!

Every time I jump into the water, it's natural instinct for my mouth and eyes to shut tight - and nose to suffer with the consequences of that!

Rewind to two weeks ago, when my friend was saying how great learning to swim is!

It's always been on my list, there were classes at a time and location that is quite comfortable for me, and it seemed like one more perfect thing to check off my list before I turned 30!

So I joined last week. The first 4 days were brilliant. They were blissful. Float keeping me a float securely, I just has to move my hands and legs to go forward in the water. It felt almost effortless. Towards the end of class 4, one master after jokingly asking me to try floating with a float, actually helped me do it. So easy!

I was so wrong!

Enter class 5, couple of laps, and my normal master goes - "Let's take off the float now"
Luckily for me, I wasn't alone. I had a friend (A friend of the friend who suggested we join swimming classes). We were both in initial classes, and at the same level.

"Float across width of the pool" the master suggested. "I'll be at the centre to push you along, don't worry"

Beginners luck long gone. Yesterday was when I found that I'd forgotten how to breathe.

I later realized that I hadn't forgotten to breathe, I was too stuck with my old way of breathing, that my body was absolutely rejectly the idea of trying the alternate breathe-through-the-mouth method. In my body's defence, it rejects the alternate idea even when I have a cold - which has had be waking up breathless in the middle of the night multiple times. [Said out loud, I realize how silly it be-s]

However, sputtering and gasping for air, we both made it across the width of the pool. Each of us feeling like we did worse than the other.

About three times into that, and the master said ok, go to the ladder and climb out.

Had we done so bad that we're getting evicted from the pool? Can they do that to us in the fifth class after we've paid for thirty classes?

Those thoughts and doubts were shortlived. After that moment, we were actually wishing that we'd just been evicted instead.

We were invited oh so sweetly to just “take a seat” by the edge of the deep end of the pool. My friend was busy voicing the thoughts that were screaming in my head “Please please don’t ask us to jump in here. We’ll drown. We’ll sink right to the bottom! It’s just the fifth class! I’ll die!”

Before I joined, my friend said "When you go, blindly follow what the instructors say. Don't tell yourself you know better" - At what cost, an imp in my head questioned.

The masters laughed sweetly and said “Just sit ma” Oh the endearments. Never trust the endearments!

“Now take some deep breaths”

“Ok. Please don’t ask us to jump” was that a quiver in our voices? Most definitely.

“It’s okay. Just breathe”

I’ve always known that water has the ability to clear our head. My snorkeling experience is still the most serene memory I ever hold. I was about to find out that water can wash our brains clean. Lol.

“Now jump”

I want to say that we either bravely or obediently just jumped. But no. We sat, we shivered, we pleaded with our eyes, hoping they’d change their minds. No luck. Finally, I decided to get it over with.

One deep breath. It became a prayer. Lungs and mouth filled, and splash.

The nose tried desperately to do what used to be so easy – to just take in oxygen and breathe out carbon di oxide. What went in was not air. What went in was a shock of water that seemed to fill your skull with the only objective of chocking and drowning the brain. The hands and legs moved. Not as they were taught to – it was a primal tune they danced – just to stay afloat. Just to stay alive. The mouth and eyes shut tight – another primal instinct? I never knew we had these.

When I did finally manage to bring my head up to the surface, it was only long enough to blow out all the water in my orifices. And before I knew it, before I was ready for it, I was back under water, cursing it as it went to attack my brain once again.

Some distance voice – from within my head? From outside? Shouted – instructing me to keep my eyes open. I opened them. Just water everywhere. This helped though, it didn’t feel like I was being water-boarded in a black hole anymore. It also helped me see the ladder not too far away. I desperately reached for those. When I did reach them, and held on for dear life, I could feel the water draining away slowly.

“I’m ready to go again” I heard my mouth say.